Prime Cuts at Steak

Prime Cuts at Steak
- why they cut

sweet blade
glistening, a visual siren to me,
to my unworthy skin.
scar me,
make me feel it,
let me know i am real,
that i am
still fighting. because i am,
i am,
still...
fighting.

~•~

i can't hear you anymore. i won't!
my ears have bled too many times.
your words are dancing,
psycho-babble,
rancid on my mind's frantic skillet.
your venom popping, splattering,
love imploding
in the oil's hot rage.
i am riddled
with the bullets of your spittle.
lift the lid,
my guilt has nowhere to go.

~Lisa
____________________________________

i'm sorry daddy,
i'm sorry momma,
teacher, uncle, priest,
insert-boy's-name here [ _____ ]

____________________________________

i can't feel you anymore.
for god's sake
touch me!
please!
make me burn,
throb, something you pricks!
your fists would be better
than these numbing stumbles
i wake into each day.

~Sara

i can not speak to you, to myself-
not in words.
i can not hear this nonsense,
this pink noise static.
our connection is chaotic,
your prattle distorted,
raw scratches,
a blown speaker,
asking my logic to bleed.

~ Mark

i lie splayed, oozing,
senseless, and numb.
raw and swollen,
my heart in a jelly cold fist,
in clots of apathy,
detached remorse,
staining this hell where I lay.

~Jenny

yes!
i am alive!
i can feel... this.
orgasmic,
too short,
blade time.
i am
so addicted...
just one more.
sooo fleeting.

enough!

...for now.

~Janine

they are coming again.
the voices, the garble,
manipulations,
mutilators
of truth.
the fathers, the teachers,
the counselors, the boys,
the grabbers, the reachers.
the ones that make you
their puppeteer toys.

____________________________________

dab the blood
dream of the next time.
remember
the next times...

glint of crimson
gleam of the steel

...are the last times,

i want to cut,
i want to forget,

i promise, i swear!

____________________________________

the next slice
is better than thinking,
than really feeling.
this is only flesh,
this pain is but moments.
for a while i can forget,
that my father sodomized me.

~Seth

but it helps me hear...
i don't want to bleed!
~Sara

but it helps me feel...
i don't want it to scar.
~Jenny

but it helps me escape
how useless i felt.
~Janine

it helps me forget
the betrayal of trust.
~Seth

____________________________________

one simple delicious slice,
high on the thigh,
no one will see it.
another.
long sleeves,
the swoon so tender,
the sensation so sweet.
just another long
slowww cut.
Ohhhh.

____________________________________

it helps me remember my 'I' is still here.
~ so say we all.