Life at the Knife ~ Hysterically blind Life cord... fraying, All channels filled with cramps and feeble static, Signal weak, fading. Clots, pass... Hello? News from the front? But they pass... silent walled off... ... absorbed, clinging ... Ripcord pulled... ...removed... Evacuated. Flushed. More coming, too many. More again! Then - the rookies, fresh,               raw. With no chance to congeal they die. Shhh! Just breath. . . . FULL RETREAT ! ...the alarm sounds... HEMORRHAGE! Dizzying moments of: Strobes, Blue flashing. Snak-clack of gurney rails. Hissss. Fading, blurs of voice - stacatto "Stat!" Ringers... Bolus... IV Push Type and cross... 2 units. . . . . Aching, infinitely empty- numb. No pain... ...only drug blurred sorrow unable to cry a straight line. So deep it can not be contained - named ... barren... sleep... sleep... endless voices. Yours, his, theirs. Lights - rustle - blue - scrubs - seething pain Sweet, hot - teeth hissing pain. Grimace... screaming - muffled echoes - dreams Numb again. . . . Bliss, with a ghost's cold tears falling on your heart in steady cold drops. The sting of liquid frostbite... empty... black. Won't this ache just fall off and shatter? "Hon? Turn for me. Good!" Swimming up, up, from the cold grey safety. Earth to tongue?... Nothing. Then... Gibberish... "It's okay, you rest." Maa... mouth like overcooked turkey stuffed with Grandma's attic dust. Maa ooot...? "Doctor will be with you soon." But you know. It is gone. Her simple words Affirm the hole inside your soured soul. It is gone, the life cord... GONE. Your uterus, removed. A puddle of torn rubbish and gore now ~ ~ a treasured essence of your center and core ~ Your feminine identity, Gone... Forever! It floods over you now: Will anything, Or anyone's love Ever fill this cavity? Or the knowledge now; ... that I have forever lost a chance at his child? ... that I've lost the power to give it. Lost, A chance of your greatest gift. The tomorrows you dreamed to give your Love, and yourself. The emptiness is crushing. 1,000 gravities. There is no he, not now. No gift, No tomorrow to dream, not now. No light - no future. This makes no sense of course, But when did that ever matter? What part of 'never again' Don't they fucking understand?